“Maybe someone is offering you flowers, but you’re not reaching out for them. Maybe someone cares for you, but you don’t even realise. Maybe someone thinks you’re interesting, but you’re getting bored of yourself. Never undermine what you mean to others.”—Zaeema, “You are very important to someone” (via zjhussain)
Is our overvaluation of spontaneity not, after all, born of a deep-seated fear – the fear of missing out? If we commit to one social plan for the whole evening, we might be missing out on something cooler happening just around the corner. So the mediated-spontaneity tools of the smartphone comfort us with the idea that it is always possible to bail out in favour of something better. And this is pleasant, too, for the hipster entrepreneurs who have just launched the nearby pop-up absinthe bar or dude-food smokehouse. As Jacob Burak reports in a recent essay, the fear of missing out “occurs mostly in people with unfulfilled psychological needs in realms such as love, respect, autonomy and security”. Too overwhelming a fear of missing out – a generalised attitude of always looking over the shoulder of the person you’re talking to in case there is someone more interesting or attractive at the party – can rob the victim of the ability to take pleasure in anything.
And so it might be that those dedicated to the spontaneous lifestyle will continue to be frazzled and unhappy, however many bikini razors and pairs of Brazilian flip-flops they own – while their masters, whose plans are anything but spontaneous, look on with dark satisfaction.
Who you think you are is also intimately connect with how you see yourself treated by others. Many people complain that others do not treat them well enough, “I don’t get any respect, attention, recognition, acknowledgment,” they say. “I’m being taken for granted.” When people are kind, they suspect hidden motives. “Others want to manipulate me, take advantage of me. Nobody loves me.”
Who they think they are is this: “I am a needy ‘little me’ whose needs are not being met.” This basic misperception of who they are creates dysfunction in all their relationships. They believe they have nothing to give and that the world or other people are withholding from them what they need. Their entire reality is based on an illusory sense of who they are. It sabotages situations, mars all relationships. If the thought of lack—whether it be money, recognition, or love—has become part of who you think you are, you will always experience lack. Rather than acknowledge the good that is already in your life, all you see is lack. Acknowledging the good that is already in your life is the foundation of all abundance.
The fact is: Whatever you think the world is withholding from you, you are withholding from the world. You are withholding it because deep down you think you are small and that you have nothing to give.
Try this for a couple of weeks and see how it changes your reality: Whatever you think people are withholding from you—praise, appreciation, assistance, loving care, and so on—give it to them. You don’t have it? Just act as if you had it, and it will come.Then, soon after you start giving, you will start receiving. You cannot receive what you don’t give. Outflow determines inflow. Whatever you think the world is withholding from you, you already have, but unless you allow it to flow out, you won’t even know that you have it.
GUEST: (on phone) I’m coming in next week and I, um, well, I have a really crazy question. I don’t know if this is even something you can do or if I should be asking this at all. It’s just, a little crazy. CONCIERGE: That’s no problem! How can I help you? GUEST: You’re gonna be like “whaaaaat?” I…
I did things in my 30s that were ignored by the world, that could have been quickly labeled a failure. Here’s a classic example; in 1974 I did a movie called Phantom of the Paradise. Phantom of the Paradise, which was a huge flop in this country. There were only two cities in the world where it had any real success: Winnipeg, in Canada, and Paris, France. So, okay, let’s write it off as a failure. Maybe you could do that.
But all of the sudden, I’m in Mexico, and a 16-year-old boy comes up to me at a concert with an album - a Phantom of the Paradise soundtrack- and asks me to sign it. I sign it. Evidently I was nice to him and we had a nice little conversation. I don’t remember the moment, I remember signing the album (I don’t know if I think I remember or if I actually remember). But this little 14 or 16, whatever old this guy was… Well I know who the guy is now because I’m writing a musical based on Pan’s Labyrinth; it’s Guillermo del Toro.
The work that I’ve done with Daft Punk it’s totally related to them seeing Phantom of the Paradise 20 times and deciding they’re going to reach out to this 70-year-old songwriter to get involved in an album called Random Access Memories.
So, what is the lesson in that? The lesson for me is being very careful about what you label a failure in your life. Be careful about throwing something in the round file as garbage because you may find that it’s the headwaters of a relationship that you can’t even imagine it’s coming in your future.
I think there’s probably a lot of great, unpublished humor. Suppose you’re, say, Garrison Keillor and you come up with a brilliant, but utterly filthy joke. You can’t just throw it in the Prairie Home Companion. But you can’t just throw it away. It’s brilliant. Maybe you can pass it on to somebody who can use it? But in the end, I think you can’t risk somebody standing up in a club and saying, “Here’s a joke I got from Garrison Keillor. A nun walks into a strip club and asks for a job application…”
Sidenote: NPR, can you do a maybe an extra late edition called “Utterly Filthy Jokes with Garrison Keillor?” If he tells you he doesn’t have any, he’s lying. And at this point, he’s probably feeling a bit of pressure from holding them in so long. If you don’t give him an outlet, he could erupt.
Normally I do at least a cursory Google search before posting things to avoid embarrassing myself. I skipped that this time. It didn’t seem like it would really be worth my time to “Google Garrison Keillor erotica.”
my goal in life is to start a line of men’s jeans with fake pockets like they won’t even check to see if there are pockets because there always are pockets, and they’ll buy them and get home later, put them in the closet, pull them out when they have no other…
You may not realize this, but there is already a conspiracy regarding menswear as well. Most jeans are fine, but most dress pants have rigged pockets so that we lose everything when we sit down.
As you can see in figure A, money and other items will stay in the pockets of most jeans. For more formal wear, however, as shown in figure B, there is a deliberate attempt to make us lose everything.
“AND ON NOVEMBER 4, 2014……The only thing on people’s minds should be…….”—
TAKING 1 hour or less out of your day to GO VOTE! (via 6dogs9cats)
“If you are part of a society that votes, then do so. There may be no candidates and no measures you want to vote for … but there are certain to be ones you want to vote against. In case of doubt, vote against. By this rule you will rarely go wrong.”
― Robert A. Heinlein, Time Enough for Love
“We live in an age where we feel guilt whenever we have to cut someone off but the reality is that some relationships do need to die, some people do need to be unfollowed and defriended. We aren’t meant to be this tethered to the people in our past. The Internet mandates that we don’t burn bridges and keep everyone around like relics but those expectations are unrealistic and unhealthy. Simply put, we don’t need to know what everyone else is up to. We’re allowed to be choosy about who we surround ourselves with online and in real life, even if it might hurt people’s feelings.”—Ryan O’Connell, You Don’t Have To Be Friends With Everybody (via larmoyante)
“You should be angry. You must not be bitter. Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host. It doesn’t do anything to the object of its displeasure. So use that anger. You write it. You paint it. You dance it. You march it. You vote it. You do everything about it. You talk it. Never stop talking it.”—Maya Angelou (via feminist-fairy)
People often question why some pronounce the word “ask” as “ax.” We axed several linguists, and it turns out that “ax” has long been an accepted form of the word, used by English speakers for more than a thousand years.
It turns out that “ask” is a (relatively) recent derivation. “Ax” is closer to the Old English root verb “acsian,” and has been used since at least the 8th century. It’s still common in parts of the UK, and in communities all over the world.
And in the first English translation of the Bible? "Axe and it shall be given."